How many of you as a child {let's hope you have not done it recently} got those awesome "real" gold necklaces with the broken heart that said friend on one side and best/forever on the other, and passed along the friend side to your BFF? I must admit I was one of those people, but was there any truth to the necklace? I have always had friends, and consider myself blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life, but I have always had the "come and go" friendships. You are "best friends" for several months, then it seems to "fade" as each of you go on with different phases of your life. Now I am not hear to say that those people I call friends were not truly friends, they were, but I often wonder what happened to these friendships? I myself will take some most of the blame. I am NOT a phone person, I hate talking on the phone...chalk it up to being in high school and sitting in silence for hours with my boyfriend {no fault of his, we were just immature}, or having someone call every 15 minutes in college...I have just gone beyond the whole phone thing. I fit perfectly into this era of texting, blogging, facebooking, etc. I can handle these so much better. Or I am all about "lets go chat and have some coffee". I guess I am not the typical women in this aspect. Here are a few "deal breakers" that usually end my friendships:
#1- Time! With a 2 year old, husband, teaching position, after school commitments, volunteering, and family, I do not have a lot of time for going out to dinner, or out to clubs/bars {see next point} at night. When I do have free time, I will go out, but usually when I am free, friends are not.
#2- I am so out of touch with the "trendy" scene. I am basically a homebody. Now don't get me wrong, I love to shop, dress up, get my hair done, and look "pretty" any chance I get and Sushi dinners are a must. But I don't go to clubs, bars, or those other "trendy" spots . I guess with married life for 4 years, a daughter for 2, and living in seclusion for 2 years in the Mountains really put a damper on those things, but honestly I have no desire. Now don't get me wrong, if I go out to dinner I will have a fun fruity drink, or glass of wine, but there is no desire to go out drinking. I have NO PROBLEM with those who do go out for the purpose of drinking, it is just not me anymore {again probably due to my college days and being around it 24/7}.
#3- Guilty Conscious. Ok I am guilty as any other woman about gossiping about others, or making conversations strictly with the purpose of talking about someone else or bringing someone else down. I will say that this happens VERY rarely, and most of the time, it is me listening while someone else does the talking {which is completely wrong as well}, but still non the less I feel terrible. I think this is why I keep many "friendships" at a distance, because I know where it can lead. As a Christian I am called to lift up others, and show respect to others even when they do not deserve it, when I am caught in the gossiping, I am disobeying God, and bringing down myself.
*Getting on my pulpit now*
Psalm 34:13
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Proverbs 12:6
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues themThese verses straight from the Bible, prove what I should be doing, and sometimes I feel that I get caught up in "friendships" that are based on talking about others, not ourselves.
#4- I have "trust issues". I have {since before kindergarten} always been on a "team" with other girls. Whether it was dance, cheerleading pageants, soccer in elementary, middle, and high school, or cheerleading and sorority in college, I have always been involved in "girl" groups. Now although these things can bring out great friendships, for me it made for a lot of drama, jealousy {on all accounts}, deceit, pain, and at times serious emotional issues. Sadly the competitive edge on most of these things have caused broken friendships. So many times I have put my sole trust in "people" and have been let down. All of us fall short, but sometimes that is the most painful thing. I tend to be naive and try to help everyone, and often give a lot of myself in friendships. I want to see the best in everyone, even when I am being taken advantage of. Recently I have had a reoccurring of situations, groups, and people that I had left behind/forgiven/ moved on from, and I do not like the person it is making me into. I am taking a step back seeing if getting back into this is what God really wants me to do. I will say that no matter what, I will continue to pray and follow his way in all friendships, and avenues that I go with. {Even now I sit here and wonder what "friends" will think about this blog}
I want to build new, true friendships. I hope that the Lord continues to bless me with some of the wonderful people who have recently entered my life. I hope that we can have "true" real friendships, and yes I might bring back out those SWEET "BFF" necklaces...so retro I know ... Check out some verses that really should direct how your friendship should go...
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues themThese verses straight from the Bible, prove what I should be doing, and sometimes I feel that I get caught up in "friendships" that are based on talking about others, not ourselves.
#4- I have "trust issues". I have {since before kindergarten} always been on a "team" with other girls. Whether it was dance, cheerleading pageants, soccer in elementary, middle, and high school, or cheerleading and sorority in college, I have always been involved in "girl" groups. Now although these things can bring out great friendships, for me it made for a lot of drama, jealousy {on all accounts}, deceit, pain, and at times serious emotional issues. Sadly the competitive edge on most of these things have caused broken friendships. So many times I have put my sole trust in "people" and have been let down. All of us fall short, but sometimes that is the most painful thing. I tend to be naive and try to help everyone, and often give a lot of myself in friendships. I want to see the best in everyone, even when I am being taken advantage of. Recently I have had a reoccurring of situations, groups, and people that I had left behind/forgiven/ moved on from, and I do not like the person it is making me into. I am taking a step back seeing if getting back into this is what God really wants me to do. I will say that no matter what, I will continue to pray and follow his way in all friendships, and avenues that I go with. {Even now I sit here and wonder what "friends" will think about this blog}
I want to build new, true friendships. I hope that the Lord continues to bless me with some of the wonderful people who have recently entered my life. I hope that we can have "true" real friendships, and yes I might bring back out those SWEET "BFF" necklaces...so retro I know ... Check out some verses that really should direct how your friendship should go...
**I know that I am taking FULL inventory here, and will be putting them into effect in my own life.. I am in no way "preaching" or criticizing anyway. I blog to reflect on my own life. Please feel free to message me or write if you want to talk, I am open to helping improve any wrong that I have also done.. this blog is really helping me see who I can be as a friend, and the potential all friendships can have!**Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Proverbs 22:11He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
Proverbs 23:15-16My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is rightProverbs 27:9
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.Galatians 6:7-10
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Proverbs 22:11He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
Proverbs 23:15-16My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is rightProverbs 27:9
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.Galatians 6:7-10
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
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